If there's a start, there's always an end.

I'm scared and afraid that you might leave me soon enough that i'm not mental prepared yet .. I'm scared that you won't wanna be with me anymore and just leave me like that. I'm not as strong as what you think. I'm weak that every small little things i will cry or whine about. I don't want to risk another time. It's too hurting for me to risk it again. I love you too much till the extend that i can't even let you leave me. But i know there's always a chance that you will leave me. But I don't want this effort to be wasted. I don't want r/s to tumble down again, it was crash once and i don't want it to happen again, i thought along we are fine, no more arguments but why yesterday we start another argue? Am i really that no understanding? Am i really that bad that i'm not right in your eyes, am i not perfect to you? Am i that unreasonable? I just want us not to quarrel over small stuff, but why is it so hard to maintain that?! Yes i know i'm very paranoid and sensitive but i can't help it. I try to control already. I tried my best, Yeah.. maybe to you it's isn't my best.  But sometimes i don't want to say it out even though i mind about some stuffs. Cause i know you won't like it when i'm over paranoid and sensitive. But still i can't help it.  I'm so afraid that if we ever break up again i'm really very scared.. Do you know that? I don't want this nightmare to happen, i don't want to quarrel and saying all those words that i didn't mean to say. So please tell what how prefect do you want me to be in your eyes for a girlf, at least i can try to be one. I don't want to give up this r/s that i yearn it for so much. I just want us to be happy. But it didn't. I feel that you don't even like me about being myself. Yeah, maybe i'm not fit to be your girlfriend, i guess i'm not even good for you. If we can't work it this out then i rather we remains as friends. Isn't it better for both of us? Even though i will still be missing and loving you. But seeing you happy i'm contented already. I know it's tired hanging on to someone like me. I know, but baby, if you really can't take it anymore longer, Just tell me, I won't beg you to stay any longer. I won't. Cause i know you are sick and tired of this r/s. I will understand. I won't bothering about your life anymore. I know sometimes i'm pain in the ass. But that's me.